This afternoon, I realized I should be very pleased with what I do have in two friends that know everything that I'm thinking before I say it, instead of whining about lack of new experiences.
My good from D-lo came over today, and for about 2 hours we had a fantastic conversation. It wasn't so much what was said, but just the fact that the two of us males could talk to each other the way that guys are supposed to- with words. I began to see that some sterotypes of men friendships were true- that guys only talk when they need to, and they leave it at that. Better said, it's nice that we have a connection where we can utilize the spoken word.
Things are clearning up for me mentally while the weather begins to turn cloudy and cold. Last night we had a tiny storm of shorts with good wind and light snow (much like lake effect showers), and today the temperatures are beginning to fall faster by the hour. When I get one the airplane Thursday morning, the temperature is going to be around -5*...great *sarcasim*
I'm very much looking forward to not only finishing my semester Wednesday evening, but also spending time with my other close friend Amelious (A.K.A. Pops), as we are sharing drinks and pizzas with some conversation sprinkled in between. It's been a rough end to this semester, and having the last few hours of it spent with Pops will be a great thing, as he knows pretty much everything there is to know about me, and he has always given me the space I need to make my own mistakes, as well as the foot in my ass support that I sometimes need.
No, I don't have some of the things that I wish I did, but to take my own advice, it's people like Pops, and D-lo, along with the great relationships I have with my Dad and Uncle that help me to realize that sometimes you already have more than you think you do (it's just too bad my Dad isn't a '04 Benz). Now for my point of celebration a day early...
"I"M DONE BITCHES!!!! Now I'm going home to feast on doughnuts, rib tips, and deep dish pizza. I'm going to smoke a holy cigar or two, see downtown Chicago, bullshit with the family, and not have to think about anything related to school." ....and I am spent.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
A lost post
*(This was found in the vault, and should have been posted a few days ago, enjoy it anyway)*
Well everyone, the fun begins! It’s officially finals week for this guy, and while it would have been nice to have done a little bit better job of studying, I don’t need fantastic grades on these to earn a respectable grade in my classes, so whatever. Speaking of which, I would like to know the grades of my earlier finals, because I wouldn’t be surprised if I had managed a pretty good number of As and Bs on them (because going into the final with a D or a C- then coming out with a B or B+ is almost impossible).
In less than 8 days, I’m on a plane home, and I can finally begin my Christmas shopping. In another change from earlier years, this year I am waiting until the last minute to buy my gifts, but knowing that the entire family will be around when I am, that is keeping the stress of knowing what to get them off of my back. I will be home in time for new years in Minneapolis, and I can’t help but think what a crazy holiday that can be.
If it’s not by brother coming up to party with me, and finding out he’s growing up like I did, if it’s not having someone fall out of my loft, or some drunk person panhandling for quarters to sing a good-luck song, or getting attacked by an angry snake (who knew that sliding a snake against it’s scales on a carpet would piss them off so much), it’s a number of different thing that makes New Year’s Eve something special. I don’t think there is any other holiday where you are ‘sposed to get drunk, get free kisses at midnight, then stay up way past your bed time…well maybe St. Patrick’s Day, but you don’t get time off from work for that.
This year, who knows what’s in store. This year, I haven’t worried about trying to find a date, I haven’t worried about finding someone to get “refreshments” for me (it’s great being over 21…even thought I’ve been so for 2 years now J), and I won’t worry about much of anything except for having a great time. I’m heading to a party in the ‘burbs of St. Paul, but even that is ok. I don’t think there are many things that can come into my way of having a good, clean, fun time this year, and knowing that I can’t wait to get this year over with.
Unlike past years, I won’t be worrying about what might have been, or plaguing myself with what if’s, this year it seems that I have finally realized that what is meant to be is what is meant to be. I really couldn’t be much happier than I am knowing that after almost 23 years spent on Earth, I’ve done some pretty amazing (not to mention extreamly stupid) things. It in 2005 that I believe I will find myself in a position where I will not only constantly see the big picture in life, but I will also be able to find a way to enjoy the short term.
With only 8 more days until I come back home, and I am able to find some time to relax without thoughts of drama, exams, school, this or that. Knowing that home is where my heart is, I’m pretty content knowing that there is one place where I find myself in a position of just being able to be myself. This semester it seems that I have either grown up, or grown into someone else. It’s either maturity that I’ve moved into, or it is a molding of myself into the status quo. I’m hoping it’s the former rather than the ladder, but either way, whether it is knowingly or unconscious conformity, I am very happy with where I am at right now.
Well everyone, the fun begins! It’s officially finals week for this guy, and while it would have been nice to have done a little bit better job of studying, I don’t need fantastic grades on these to earn a respectable grade in my classes, so whatever. Speaking of which, I would like to know the grades of my earlier finals, because I wouldn’t be surprised if I had managed a pretty good number of As and Bs on them (because going into the final with a D or a C- then coming out with a B or B+ is almost impossible).
In less than 8 days, I’m on a plane home, and I can finally begin my Christmas shopping. In another change from earlier years, this year I am waiting until the last minute to buy my gifts, but knowing that the entire family will be around when I am, that is keeping the stress of knowing what to get them off of my back. I will be home in time for new years in Minneapolis, and I can’t help but think what a crazy holiday that can be.
If it’s not by brother coming up to party with me, and finding out he’s growing up like I did, if it’s not having someone fall out of my loft, or some drunk person panhandling for quarters to sing a good-luck song, or getting attacked by an angry snake (who knew that sliding a snake against it’s scales on a carpet would piss them off so much), it’s a number of different thing that makes New Year’s Eve something special. I don’t think there is any other holiday where you are ‘sposed to get drunk, get free kisses at midnight, then stay up way past your bed time…well maybe St. Patrick’s Day, but you don’t get time off from work for that.
This year, who knows what’s in store. This year, I haven’t worried about trying to find a date, I haven’t worried about finding someone to get “refreshments” for me (it’s great being over 21…even thought I’ve been so for 2 years now J), and I won’t worry about much of anything except for having a great time. I’m heading to a party in the ‘burbs of St. Paul, but even that is ok. I don’t think there are many things that can come into my way of having a good, clean, fun time this year, and knowing that I can’t wait to get this year over with.
Unlike past years, I won’t be worrying about what might have been, or plaguing myself with what if’s, this year it seems that I have finally realized that what is meant to be is what is meant to be. I really couldn’t be much happier than I am knowing that after almost 23 years spent on Earth, I’ve done some pretty amazing (not to mention extreamly stupid) things. It in 2005 that I believe I will find myself in a position where I will not only constantly see the big picture in life, but I will also be able to find a way to enjoy the short term.
With only 8 more days until I come back home, and I am able to find some time to relax without thoughts of drama, exams, school, this or that. Knowing that home is where my heart is, I’m pretty content knowing that there is one place where I find myself in a position of just being able to be myself. This semester it seems that I have either grown up, or grown into someone else. It’s either maturity that I’ve moved into, or it is a molding of myself into the status quo. I’m hoping it’s the former rather than the ladder, but either way, whether it is knowingly or unconscious conformity, I am very happy with where I am at right now.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Two fitting songs
With less than 4 days before I travel to The Midway, here are two great songs I woke up to this afternoon- Linkin Park's My December and Sinatra's Chicago.
My December
this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear
this is my december
this is my snow covered home
this is my december
this is me alone
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said to you
and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to
this is my december
these are my snow covered dreams
this is me pretending
this is all i need
Chicago
Chicago, chicago that toddling town
Chicago, chicago I’ll show you around - I love it
Bet your bottom dollar you’ll lose the blues in chicago
The town that billy’s sunday could not shut down
On state street that great street I just want to say
They do things that they don’t do on broadway - say
They have the time the time of their life
I say a man and he danced with his wife
In chicago, my home town
My December
this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear
this is my december
this is my snow covered home
this is my december
this is me alone
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said to you
and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to
this is my december
these are my snow covered dreams
this is me pretending
this is all i need
Chicago
Chicago, chicago that toddling town
Chicago, chicago I’ll show you around - I love it
Bet your bottom dollar you’ll lose the blues in chicago
The town that billy’s sunday could not shut down
On state street that great street I just want to say
They do things that they don’t do on broadway - say
They have the time the time of their life
I say a man and he danced with his wife
In chicago, my home town
Friday, December 17, 2004
Growing pains?
There was a comedian years ago that said, "You remember when you thought your dad was a super hero, only to realize years later he was just a guy who wore his underwear outside of his pants?" That's what I am feeling right now. I feel like I am not only growing up, but growing out.
I remember when I came to college, and that the most important thing on my mind was fitting in with people who I could go out and party with, people who would become life-long friends, people who when at my wedding would crack a few jokes, and be there for me when I was down. I think about those those thoughts now, and I wonder if I have found those people. Not taking anything away from those I currently call friends and confidants, but there seems to be something lacking.
Where as I used to be wanting to be the life of the group, cracking jokes, keeping everyone upbeat, finding something a topic of discussion that everyone could find something to opine on, I am rutinely wondering when we will be able to discuss the topics of the day- the war, the economy, the social injustices, etc. These are the things that I find facinating, if not fun to discuss. It seems to be however that maybe I am not finding the same kind of nerds that I have become, or it might be that I have been here so long that I have outgrown the elements. I am not saying I am the smartest cat in the craddle- I'll be the first one to admit to that I am not, but I am trying to figure out if there isn't more to life than MTV, video games, and being immature for the college-age kids nowadays.
To be clear, this is in no way to meant to slam anyone, maybe I took the sociology class I just finished too much to heart, but there has to be an empirical reason in why I have yet to find more than 2 people that I know hear and understand everything that I am feeling. How did this come to be is by no means a mystery- my older friends are moving on with graduation, with thier relationships, with thier lives, while I sit in the purgatory of college life, while the younger crop of kids that come in every year are finding thier own niche into the campus society. While I am working to keep my toys (my cell phone, my car, baseball), I lose the time to search for those fulfilling relationships. On the other hand, when I do not work, I have another full-time job working on my education. It is very clear to see that the structure of my rutine has compressed my availibilty, if not my abibility to spend the time to build such a relationship. On the other hand, however in the time that I do have free, there have been two recent highly fulfilling relationships that I have come to find, one with my Dad, the other with my Uncle.
There were times when I couldn't be happier for the times of fate I experienced since I've been at Minnesota. I remember my big bro Schubie somehow coming to my dorm room the moment I read an e-mail telling me that a freind of mine from middle-school had passed away. I remember finding consolance in Pops when at 4am in the morning last April there was no one else I could turn to. I remember finding Dane in ROTC, and eventually his leading me into the fraternity. Whatever happened to those times? Is the constantcy of my stay here in college causing me to go insane, because I have been programed to moving every few years?
As a military brat, I moved around a lot, and following my parents divorce the pattern of moving failed to cease, as I moved off to college, back home, and back to college again. Now that I know that I will be here for some time, I believe I am feeling some constraints in regards to not having the new oppertunities in which for fate to bring new special people into my life. In a mix of incomplete thoughts and run-on sentences, I hope I have gotten through some sense in this rambling on. The only advice I have for myself would be to just to find a way through the next week, and once I'm home find time to be happy that I will have both my Dad and Uncle around to just be with. There is indeed something special about being with people where you don't have to do anything, but just sit and know you're in good company. Maybe I'm just too homesick, and/or maybe I'm just too sick from the lack of motion.
I remember when I came to college, and that the most important thing on my mind was fitting in with people who I could go out and party with, people who would become life-long friends, people who when at my wedding would crack a few jokes, and be there for me when I was down. I think about those those thoughts now, and I wonder if I have found those people. Not taking anything away from those I currently call friends and confidants, but there seems to be something lacking.
Where as I used to be wanting to be the life of the group, cracking jokes, keeping everyone upbeat, finding something a topic of discussion that everyone could find something to opine on, I am rutinely wondering when we will be able to discuss the topics of the day- the war, the economy, the social injustices, etc. These are the things that I find facinating, if not fun to discuss. It seems to be however that maybe I am not finding the same kind of nerds that I have become, or it might be that I have been here so long that I have outgrown the elements. I am not saying I am the smartest cat in the craddle- I'll be the first one to admit to that I am not, but I am trying to figure out if there isn't more to life than MTV, video games, and being immature for the college-age kids nowadays.
To be clear, this is in no way to meant to slam anyone, maybe I took the sociology class I just finished too much to heart, but there has to be an empirical reason in why I have yet to find more than 2 people that I know hear and understand everything that I am feeling. How did this come to be is by no means a mystery- my older friends are moving on with graduation, with thier relationships, with thier lives, while I sit in the purgatory of college life, while the younger crop of kids that come in every year are finding thier own niche into the campus society. While I am working to keep my toys (my cell phone, my car, baseball), I lose the time to search for those fulfilling relationships. On the other hand, when I do not work, I have another full-time job working on my education. It is very clear to see that the structure of my rutine has compressed my availibilty, if not my abibility to spend the time to build such a relationship. On the other hand, however in the time that I do have free, there have been two recent highly fulfilling relationships that I have come to find, one with my Dad, the other with my Uncle.
There were times when I couldn't be happier for the times of fate I experienced since I've been at Minnesota. I remember my big bro Schubie somehow coming to my dorm room the moment I read an e-mail telling me that a freind of mine from middle-school had passed away. I remember finding consolance in Pops when at 4am in the morning last April there was no one else I could turn to. I remember finding Dane in ROTC, and eventually his leading me into the fraternity. Whatever happened to those times? Is the constantcy of my stay here in college causing me to go insane, because I have been programed to moving every few years?
As a military brat, I moved around a lot, and following my parents divorce the pattern of moving failed to cease, as I moved off to college, back home, and back to college again. Now that I know that I will be here for some time, I believe I am feeling some constraints in regards to not having the new oppertunities in which for fate to bring new special people into my life. In a mix of incomplete thoughts and run-on sentences, I hope I have gotten through some sense in this rambling on. The only advice I have for myself would be to just to find a way through the next week, and once I'm home find time to be happy that I will have both my Dad and Uncle around to just be with. There is indeed something special about being with people where you don't have to do anything, but just sit and know you're in good company. Maybe I'm just too homesick, and/or maybe I'm just too sick from the lack of motion.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Screw it, I'm actually going to write something
With this more than likely to be my last post in MN for 2004, I will leave you with some parting words about the year past. Before I will do that, santa will be dropping a gift for those who stop by Christmas day.
To begin, this has definetly been an interesting year. Boston celebrated two championships, while Chicago still suffers. My Care Bears and Cubbies I am sure will win one some day, but I fear (as most Chicago sports fans do) that a celebration of one will happen long after I'm gone. My relationship with Gretchen ended upbruptly in the spring, and it something at the time I thought I could have lived without (us breaking up the way that we did), however when I look at it now, that very well might be the greatest thing to happen to me this year. With all of the pain that it caused, now that I can see clearly, I feel as though God was looking out for me.
The election that launched a thousand protesters ended quickly last month, and the economy is sure thankful- not to mention the rest of us. Whatever side of the political fense you reside, I think all of us can agree that we are all thankful we are not going through anything nearly as problematic as what is going on in the Ukraine. Staying on politics for one more point, over the summer, we were reminded all over the world that terrorism is not just an American problem, but a world-wide problem, as a Russian school was over-run by Chzechnian terrorists. For whatever reason you believe, Russia still is doing nothing about it, and I am glad we have a government that is held accountable- for we wouldn't have done anything following 9/11/01.
Over this past year, I have found a close connection with both my Dad and my Uncle, and it does nothing but make me very happy that even though I have yet to come anywhere near to coming close to my potential, they still love and support me regardless. I believe that a stong family system helps to regenerate values and love throughout society, and there seems to be no lack of that as far as I am concerned. It is not just my family, but also my friends who have done so much for me over the past year, and to all of you this is my thank you. You were all there for me when I needed you the most, and I whole-heartedly appreciate all of it.
Academically this year has left something to be desired, as the fallout over my major has left me feeling bewildered. As I've said before, I'm going to percivere, and do what I can with what I have left. To still be here is one blessing I have forgotten over the drama, and I at least have that going for me. One day I will finish school, but it wasn't going to be tomorrow, and it still isn't. My work ethic this semester was the best since coming to the Univ., but there is still a lot more than I can do to better myself and my grades. In short of making a resolution, I will say that my habits will definetly change.
Like it or not, I have grown a tremendous amount this year, both mentally and phyically (finally getting back to an acceptable weight). I was never really immature, however 2004 was the year that I feel I turned a corner. This year was the year that I gave up on being stupid, as I am binge drinking less, and I have given up some pretty bad things (Jan 19th, it will have been one year since last using any drugs- not that I was a druggie, but it's college). I have realized that life is not a imagination station, but everything that happens is of my own doing. It isn't about luck, it is about the situations that I put myself in. I hold accountability to a high standard now, which I failed to do in the past. My bills are shrinking, and my main focus is on school. I am not saying I am by any means perfect, but I can say with conviction that I am a much stronger, healthier, smarter, and more open man than I used to be.
I'm sure I will drop one or two more real postings on here for you, but as a note over the holiday season be thankful for what you have. Don't dwell on not having the amount of money you want, or the number of toys you don't have. Don't be saddened by the losses you have come across, and don't be regretful for the decisions you have made. This holiday season be thankful that you have what you do have, and that you have the health and the life to enjoy those things you do have. Remember that you are living in a free democratic society, that while it might not be perfect, there are our brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nefews willing to put thier lives on the line to keep our country safe. There are always going to be people that are less and more furtunate than you and I, but the main thing is to be thankful for what you have.
To begin, this has definetly been an interesting year. Boston celebrated two championships, while Chicago still suffers. My Care Bears and Cubbies I am sure will win one some day, but I fear (as most Chicago sports fans do) that a celebration of one will happen long after I'm gone. My relationship with Gretchen ended upbruptly in the spring, and it something at the time I thought I could have lived without (us breaking up the way that we did), however when I look at it now, that very well might be the greatest thing to happen to me this year. With all of the pain that it caused, now that I can see clearly, I feel as though God was looking out for me.
The election that launched a thousand protesters ended quickly last month, and the economy is sure thankful- not to mention the rest of us. Whatever side of the political fense you reside, I think all of us can agree that we are all thankful we are not going through anything nearly as problematic as what is going on in the Ukraine. Staying on politics for one more point, over the summer, we were reminded all over the world that terrorism is not just an American problem, but a world-wide problem, as a Russian school was over-run by Chzechnian terrorists. For whatever reason you believe, Russia still is doing nothing about it, and I am glad we have a government that is held accountable- for we wouldn't have done anything following 9/11/01.
Over this past year, I have found a close connection with both my Dad and my Uncle, and it does nothing but make me very happy that even though I have yet to come anywhere near to coming close to my potential, they still love and support me regardless. I believe that a stong family system helps to regenerate values and love throughout society, and there seems to be no lack of that as far as I am concerned. It is not just my family, but also my friends who have done so much for me over the past year, and to all of you this is my thank you. You were all there for me when I needed you the most, and I whole-heartedly appreciate all of it.
Academically this year has left something to be desired, as the fallout over my major has left me feeling bewildered. As I've said before, I'm going to percivere, and do what I can with what I have left. To still be here is one blessing I have forgotten over the drama, and I at least have that going for me. One day I will finish school, but it wasn't going to be tomorrow, and it still isn't. My work ethic this semester was the best since coming to the Univ., but there is still a lot more than I can do to better myself and my grades. In short of making a resolution, I will say that my habits will definetly change.
Like it or not, I have grown a tremendous amount this year, both mentally and phyically (finally getting back to an acceptable weight). I was never really immature, however 2004 was the year that I feel I turned a corner. This year was the year that I gave up on being stupid, as I am binge drinking less, and I have given up some pretty bad things (Jan 19th, it will have been one year since last using any drugs- not that I was a druggie, but it's college). I have realized that life is not a imagination station, but everything that happens is of my own doing. It isn't about luck, it is about the situations that I put myself in. I hold accountability to a high standard now, which I failed to do in the past. My bills are shrinking, and my main focus is on school. I am not saying I am by any means perfect, but I can say with conviction that I am a much stronger, healthier, smarter, and more open man than I used to be.
I'm sure I will drop one or two more real postings on here for you, but as a note over the holiday season be thankful for what you have. Don't dwell on not having the amount of money you want, or the number of toys you don't have. Don't be saddened by the losses you have come across, and don't be regretful for the decisions you have made. This holiday season be thankful that you have what you do have, and that you have the health and the life to enjoy those things you do have. Remember that you are living in a free democratic society, that while it might not be perfect, there are our brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nefews willing to put thier lives on the line to keep our country safe. There are always going to be people that are less and more furtunate than you and I, but the main thing is to be thankful for what you have.
Only 12 more days
With just less than 12 days left before I fly home for Christmas, school is coming to a quick close. In place of spending time updating, I feel it would be better for every now and then to post song lyrics that for the moment are floating through my head. Last post was some country, this post I'll share something from 12 Stones, thier song called Home (fitting, no?)
In my eyes you see the pain
With each lie I take the blame
With each sigh I slowly fall away
You are there when I need you
You sew me up when I bleed through
The endless cloth of lies surrounding me
Everything that I am you have given me
The lessons that I've learned are bringing me home
It's everything that I need
It's all the truth that I believe
Right where I need to be
Just bring me home
I hide in the darkness blind to sense
Chasing a dream with false pretense
Help me find the fracture in this dark sky
Everything that I believe is slowly overtaking me
I'm just trying to find my way back home
Endless days are haunting me
Open eyes and I can't sleep
I need this now rescue me
Just bring me home
You can't bring me down
'Cause I'm going home
It's everything that I need
It's all the truth that I believe
Right where I need to be
Just bring me home
In my eyes you see the pain
With each lie I take the blame
With each sigh I slowly fall away
You are there when I need you
You sew me up when I bleed through
The endless cloth of lies surrounding me
Everything that I am you have given me
The lessons that I've learned are bringing me home
It's everything that I need
It's all the truth that I believe
Right where I need to be
Just bring me home
I hide in the darkness blind to sense
Chasing a dream with false pretense
Help me find the fracture in this dark sky
Everything that I believe is slowly overtaking me
I'm just trying to find my way back home
Endless days are haunting me
Open eyes and I can't sleep
I need this now rescue me
Just bring me home
You can't bring me down
'Cause I'm going home
It's everything that I need
It's all the truth that I believe
Right where I need to be
Just bring me home
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Somebody by Reba McEntire
At a diner down on Broadway they make small talk,when she brings his eggs, and fills his coffee cup.
He jokes about his love life, and tells her he is about ready to give up.
That's when she says, "I've been there before, but keep on looking, 'cause maybe who you're looking for is somebody in the next car, somebody on the morning train. Somebody in the coffee shop, who walk by every day. Somebody that you look at, but never really see. Somewhere out there, is somebody."
Across town in a crowded elevator, he can't forget the things the waitress said.
He usually reads the paper, but today he reads a stranger's face instead.
It's that blue-eyed girl, from two floors up; maybe she's the one, maybe he could fall in love [with somebody].
Now they laugh about the moment that it happened. A moment they both missed until that day. When he saw his future in her eyes, instead of just another friendly face.
He wonders why, he searched so long, when she was at the diner waiting on [somebody].
He jokes about his love life, and tells her he is about ready to give up.
That's when she says, "I've been there before, but keep on looking, 'cause maybe who you're looking for is somebody in the next car, somebody on the morning train. Somebody in the coffee shop, who walk by every day. Somebody that you look at, but never really see. Somewhere out there, is somebody."
Across town in a crowded elevator, he can't forget the things the waitress said.
He usually reads the paper, but today he reads a stranger's face instead.
It's that blue-eyed girl, from two floors up; maybe she's the one, maybe he could fall in love [with somebody].
Now they laugh about the moment that it happened. A moment they both missed until that day. When he saw his future in her eyes, instead of just another friendly face.
He wonders why, he searched so long, when she was at the diner waiting on [somebody].
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
A new page
In a way to extend my "empire", I have created a new blog. The Duece Report, is where I will post only this pertaining to sports and topics surrounding sports. This "Young Pup" blog will remain a way to share my personal feelings, along with other rants, whether sociological, political, or innate. I hope you will visit both, but in the large scheme of things I hope to use the new sports blog as a way to share my ability to write about sports in hope to eventually land a writing job for newspapers.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Saturday, December 04, 2004
And it was written
|
Straight from the horse's mouth
Only because it was fitting, here's an excerpt from my super-secret journal...
"Having a huge stress off of my shoulders, and knowing that I do not need the finals of my classes to make my semester I am feeling pretty good right now. I’m not on the top of my game mind you, but I could be doing much, much worse. It would be nice to end this year on a high note, especially after all of the nonsense I have been through, and I think that it where I am headed. I’m doing what I feel I need to do to get back to a position of having power over my life again, and that feels pretty refreshing. My bills are declining, and after over 2 years of trying to pay it off, my credit card bill will be gone. Since the beginning of the year I have decreased my monthly bills, and my non-school debt by 30%. Things could be better, but the Cubs can’t start to get rid of their curse for another 2 ½ months."
Lastly, this kid's christmas wish list...
-A Cubs World Series championship (the worst you can do is give me a card, saying I give you the gift of a 2005 Cubs championship, and if it happens, then that's gold in my book)
-a Nomar Cubs jersey (only if he resigns with the North Siders)
-A world that is free of the United Nations
-A box of Primo Del Ray cigars
-A bottle of Cutty Sark Scotts-Whiskey
-A new throwing shoulder
-An on-campus stadium for the Gopher football team- well...only if they show at the Music City Bowl that they can tackle
-Finally, and most importantly the oppertunity to have another healthy, happy year to share with my family and friends.
I'll close with a quote from the famous theorist, Beavis, "Tis the season...for poop."
"Having a huge stress off of my shoulders, and knowing that I do not need the finals of my classes to make my semester I am feeling pretty good right now. I’m not on the top of my game mind you, but I could be doing much, much worse. It would be nice to end this year on a high note, especially after all of the nonsense I have been through, and I think that it where I am headed. I’m doing what I feel I need to do to get back to a position of having power over my life again, and that feels pretty refreshing. My bills are declining, and after over 2 years of trying to pay it off, my credit card bill will be gone. Since the beginning of the year I have decreased my monthly bills, and my non-school debt by 30%. Things could be better, but the Cubs can’t start to get rid of their curse for another 2 ½ months."
Lastly, this kid's christmas wish list...
-A Cubs World Series championship (the worst you can do is give me a card, saying I give you the gift of a 2005 Cubs championship, and if it happens, then that's gold in my book)
-a Nomar Cubs jersey (only if he resigns with the North Siders)
-A world that is free of the United Nations
-A box of Primo Del Ray cigars
-A bottle of Cutty Sark Scotts-Whiskey
-A new throwing shoulder
-An on-campus stadium for the Gopher football team- well...only if they show at the Music City Bowl that they can tackle
-Finally, and most importantly the oppertunity to have another healthy, happy year to share with my family and friends.
I'll close with a quote from the famous theorist, Beavis, "Tis the season...for poop."
Friday, December 03, 2004
The decision has been made
In going over whether or not to concede to my advisors, or whether to pick up and move to a different college, I have finally come up with a decison. I will not only return to the Univ. but I will also tuck my tail between my legs, grind it out, and graduate from this school with whatever degree I can obtain.
Looking at it academically, economically, and socially, the U gives me the best oppertunity in economics and social. However graduating ASAP at another institution would just provide more problems for me down the line. Here I can continue to gain contacts, and play baseball in South St. Paul over the summers like I had planned to, before moving to Chicago and becoming....errr.....an adult.
Owning up to the mistakes that I have made, I did not take the first couple years I was at the U very seriously, and my extended time here will be spent dealing with those consequences. If it takes me 7 years to graduate, then fine. My mom will graduate from college following this spring, and she worked over 20 years to get that degree. Seeing how hard she had to work to get hers, I'm filled with a new sense of determination to right the wrongs that I have done here in Minneapolis.
Staying here provides the easiest, safest, and most mature way to deal with graduation, maturing, and growing....hense, I am staying.
Looking at it academically, economically, and socially, the U gives me the best oppertunity in economics and social. However graduating ASAP at another institution would just provide more problems for me down the line. Here I can continue to gain contacts, and play baseball in South St. Paul over the summers like I had planned to, before moving to Chicago and becoming....errr.....an adult.
Owning up to the mistakes that I have made, I did not take the first couple years I was at the U very seriously, and my extended time here will be spent dealing with those consequences. If it takes me 7 years to graduate, then fine. My mom will graduate from college following this spring, and she worked over 20 years to get that degree. Seeing how hard she had to work to get hers, I'm filled with a new sense of determination to right the wrongs that I have done here in Minneapolis.
Staying here provides the easiest, safest, and most mature way to deal with graduation, maturing, and growing....hense, I am staying.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Some possible good news...finally
Finally some good news to break to yous. No I'm not healthy again, in fact, I've digressed back to the land of the sickly (I've made it to only 3 of my last 12 classes). The news is that thanks to some help from my mom, I have found that I could very well end up with a Sports business and marketing degree from Carthage College (which is where I began my colligate career, and spent my year away from the U at).
Just wanting to graduate, and be done with college, it's a huge, uplifting piece of news, however knowing that a move will mean I will leave the people that I've come to meet here. It's a catch-22, but at this point I have to do something. I have no other option here, unless I want to graduate following the Fall of 06 (making it 5.5 years at the U, and 6.5 years in college total).
The point of the matter folks if you want some friendly advice- don't fail classes, and talk to more than just your advisor when it comes to choosing your classes. Had I done both of those, I'd be in grad school right now....in Chicago. This possible move to Carthage is definetly a plus, but it's not etched in stone by any means, and once I return from the trip home following finals, I will have much, much more information.
Just wanting to graduate, and be done with college, it's a huge, uplifting piece of news, however knowing that a move will mean I will leave the people that I've come to meet here. It's a catch-22, but at this point I have to do something. I have no other option here, unless I want to graduate following the Fall of 06 (making it 5.5 years at the U, and 6.5 years in college total).
The point of the matter folks if you want some friendly advice- don't fail classes, and talk to more than just your advisor when it comes to choosing your classes. Had I done both of those, I'd be in grad school right now....in Chicago. This possible move to Carthage is definetly a plus, but it's not etched in stone by any means, and once I return from the trip home following finals, I will have much, much more information.
A little something fun (for a change)
SECTION 1 ABOUT YOURSELF
+ [Known as]. Stephen J, Scuba, Duece
+ Gender: Male
+ Age: 22
+ Location: Minneapolis, MN, USA
+ Birthday: February 25, 1982
+ School: University of Minnesota
+ Ethnicity: English, Irish, German, Russian, Hungarian, Czech, Yugoslavian, Dutch
+ Religion: soon to be Jewish
+ Shoe size: 8.5-9 depending on brand
+ Hair color: Brown
+ Eye color: Hazel
+ Style: button up shirt with khaki pants
+ Fears: failure, rednecks, hippies, and people with dredlocks
SECTiON 2 HAVE YOU EVER…
+ Cheated on someone?: hell no
+ Fallen off the bed?: if I had a dollar for every time...
+ Fallen for a relative?: Nope, my family ain't that pretty
+ Had your heart broken?: a few times
+ Had a dream come true?: I'm still alive, so yes
+ Done something you regret? Is there anyone who hasn't regreted something?
+ Cheated on a test?: oh yeah, it's the only thing that got me through spelling tests
SECTiON 3 CURRENTLY…
+ Wearing?: sweatshirt, pj pants, and homer simpson slippers
+ Listening to?: Norah Jones
+ Eating?: nothing
+ Feeling?: Blahze faire
+ Located?: bedroom
+ Chatting with?: no one they are all asleep
+ Watching?: my computer screen
+ Should REALLY be doing? Sleeping, I have class in about 7 hours
SECTiON 4 DO YOU…
+ Brush your teeth?: twice daily
+ Like anybody?: yeah
+ Have any piercings?: one-tongue
+ Drive?: yeah, a 2002 Sportage Convertable
+ Believe in Santa Claus?: no, but I do believe in the spirit of the holidays
+ Smoke: trying to quit
+ Drink?: hell yeah
+ Have a cellphone?: yep
+ Have a pager?: Does anyone have a pager anymore?
SECTION 5 FRIENDS…
+ Who is your best?: it's cheesy, but my mom
+ Who do you hate?: those spited shall remain nameless
+ Who is the shyest?: Andy
+ Who is the most talkative?: Amelious
+ Who is the cutest?: I'm not touching that one
+ Who laughs the most?: Dan
+ Who have you known the longest?: (excluding family) Vern
+ Who have you known the shortest?: Andy
+ Who do you miss the most?: my brother
+ Who do you turn to for personal problems?: pretty much everyone, but either my mom, brother, my uncle, or Amelious
+ Do you hang out with the opposite sex?: yep
+ Do you trust your friends?: with everything
+ Are you a good friend?: I'd like to think so
SECTION 6 THE LAST PERSON YOU…
+ Hugged?: Dane
+ Kissed?: jeez...I don't know...it's been a while
+ Gave dap to?: my uncle, for coming home for christmas
+ IMed? Angie
+ Talked to on the phone?: Dan
+ Yelled at?: in person-Andy probably on-line-Jen J
SECTiON 7 PERSONAL…
+ What do you want to be when you grow up?: a beat writer for the Chicago Cubs
+ What has been the best day of your life?: The day I pitched 6 1/3 innings with 12 strikeouts, and went 4-5 at the plate with 3 stolen bases
+ What comes first in your life?: family and friends
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: I'm 22, is having a crush what they call it when you're this old?
+ What are you most scared of?: rasing my future child alone
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed?: stuff I ususally can't do anything about
+ Did you loose someone you really loved?:They are going left and right...my friend Matt, my grandad, and my step grandad...all in the last 5 years.
+ How many times have you fallen deeply in love?: twice
+ Love your family? with everything I have
+ Love your friends?: yep
+ Have you fought?: not in a number of years
SECTiON 8 FAVORITE…
+ Movie: Field of Dreams
+ Song: The Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra
+ Group: Metallica
+ Singer: Frank Sinatra
+ Store: The Chicago store at Gurnee Mills
+ Relative: too many family members read this to say :)- they are all important to me
+ Sport: baseball, baseball, baseball
+ Ice Cream Flavor: cookies and cream
+ Fruit: strawberries
+ Candy: sweet tarts
+ Car: 04 Toyota Rav4
+ Class: Multi-Cultural Relations
+ Holiday: Thanksgiving
+ Day of the Week: Friday
+ Color: Texas Orange
+ Name for a Girl: Nicole
+ Name for a Boy: Glenn
+ Favorite spot for a date: the Malt Shoppe
+ Quote: "Everything happens for a reason." and "Every day is a holiday, every meal is a feast."
SECTiON 9 DO YO….
+ Like to give kisses?: yep
+ Like to walk in the rain?: only a summer rain
+ Prefer black or blue pens?: black
+ Like to travel?: yeah
+ Like someone?: I believe this might start to get redundant
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side
+ Think you’re attractive? sure
+ Have a goldfish?: nope
+ Ever have the falling dream?: too many times- does anyone know what it means?
+ Have stuffed animals?: yep, 2
SECTiON 10 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT…
+ Abortion: get rid of late-term abortions and I am fine with it.
+ Bill Clinton: Draft-dodging, military-secret-selling piece of shit
+ Smoking: cigars.....oh I love the smell of a cigar
+ Eating Disorders: eh...I'll save my two cents
+ Suicide: selfish, selfish, selfish....euthenasia is another matter, but suicide is for selfish muther-fucks, who only care about themselves
+ Summer: LOVE IT
+ Tattoos: I can't wait to get mine- let's go Cubbies!
+ Piercing: I like it, but my time has run out to get any more I believe
+ Make-up: it's fine for the gals, as long as they go easy on it
SECTiON 11 THIS OR THAT…
+ Pierced nose or tongue?: tongue...pierced noses are sick
+ Single or taken?: taken
+ MTV or BET?: BET...MTV sucks. That being said, I'm neither black, nor does BET keep me entertained
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson’s Creek?: 7th Heaven, some morals aren't a bad thing
+ Sugar or salt?: salt
+ Silver or gold?: silver
+ Chocolate or flowers?: flowers
+ Color or Black-and-white photos?: color, I don't want my kids asking me if everything was in black and white, like I did to my mom.
+ M&M’s or Skittles?: skittles
+ Stay up late or sleep in?: both please
+ Hot or cold?: hot
+ Sun or moon?: moon
+ Left or Right?: right
+ Acquaintances or one best friend?: best friend
+ Mustard or ketchup?: mustard
+ Spring or Fall?: fall
+ Give or receive? give
+ Happy or sad?: happy
+ Wonder or amazement?: amazement
+ McDonald’s or Burger King?: Burger King....I might as well start buying stock in them, since I've put at least 4 of thier kids through college and grad school.
+ Mexican or Italian food?: italian
+ Lights on or off?: on
+ Candy or soda?: soda
+ Pepsi or Coke?: coke
Hope y'all enjoyed that...now it's time to try to sleep once again.
+ [Known as]. Stephen J, Scuba, Duece
+ Gender: Male
+ Age: 22
+ Location: Minneapolis, MN, USA
+ Birthday: February 25, 1982
+ School: University of Minnesota
+ Ethnicity: English, Irish, German, Russian, Hungarian, Czech, Yugoslavian, Dutch
+ Religion: soon to be Jewish
+ Shoe size: 8.5-9 depending on brand
+ Hair color: Brown
+ Eye color: Hazel
+ Style: button up shirt with khaki pants
+ Fears: failure, rednecks, hippies, and people with dredlocks
SECTiON 2 HAVE YOU EVER…
+ Cheated on someone?: hell no
+ Fallen off the bed?: if I had a dollar for every time...
+ Fallen for a relative?: Nope, my family ain't that pretty
+ Had your heart broken?: a few times
+ Had a dream come true?: I'm still alive, so yes
+ Done something you regret? Is there anyone who hasn't regreted something?
+ Cheated on a test?: oh yeah, it's the only thing that got me through spelling tests
SECTiON 3 CURRENTLY…
+ Wearing?: sweatshirt, pj pants, and homer simpson slippers
+ Listening to?: Norah Jones
+ Eating?: nothing
+ Feeling?: Blahze faire
+ Located?: bedroom
+ Chatting with?: no one they are all asleep
+ Watching?: my computer screen
+ Should REALLY be doing? Sleeping, I have class in about 7 hours
SECTiON 4 DO YOU…
+ Brush your teeth?: twice daily
+ Like anybody?: yeah
+ Have any piercings?: one-tongue
+ Drive?: yeah, a 2002 Sportage Convertable
+ Believe in Santa Claus?: no, but I do believe in the spirit of the holidays
+ Smoke: trying to quit
+ Drink?: hell yeah
+ Have a cellphone?: yep
+ Have a pager?: Does anyone have a pager anymore?
SECTION 5 FRIENDS…
+ Who is your best?: it's cheesy, but my mom
+ Who do you hate?: those spited shall remain nameless
+ Who is the shyest?: Andy
+ Who is the most talkative?: Amelious
+ Who is the cutest?: I'm not touching that one
+ Who laughs the most?: Dan
+ Who have you known the longest?: (excluding family) Vern
+ Who have you known the shortest?: Andy
+ Who do you miss the most?: my brother
+ Who do you turn to for personal problems?: pretty much everyone, but either my mom, brother, my uncle, or Amelious
+ Do you hang out with the opposite sex?: yep
+ Do you trust your friends?: with everything
+ Are you a good friend?: I'd like to think so
SECTION 6 THE LAST PERSON YOU…
+ Hugged?: Dane
+ Kissed?: jeez...I don't know...it's been a while
+ Gave dap to?: my uncle, for coming home for christmas
+ IMed? Angie
+ Talked to on the phone?: Dan
+ Yelled at?: in person-Andy probably on-line-Jen J
SECTiON 7 PERSONAL…
+ What do you want to be when you grow up?: a beat writer for the Chicago Cubs
+ What has been the best day of your life?: The day I pitched 6 1/3 innings with 12 strikeouts, and went 4-5 at the plate with 3 stolen bases
+ What comes first in your life?: family and friends
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: I'm 22, is having a crush what they call it when you're this old?
+ What are you most scared of?: rasing my future child alone
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed?: stuff I ususally can't do anything about
+ Did you loose someone you really loved?:They are going left and right...my friend Matt, my grandad, and my step grandad...all in the last 5 years.
+ How many times have you fallen deeply in love?: twice
+ Love your family? with everything I have
+ Love your friends?: yep
+ Have you fought?: not in a number of years
SECTiON 8 FAVORITE…
+ Movie: Field of Dreams
+ Song: The Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra
+ Group: Metallica
+ Singer: Frank Sinatra
+ Store: The Chicago store at Gurnee Mills
+ Relative: too many family members read this to say :)- they are all important to me
+ Sport: baseball, baseball, baseball
+ Ice Cream Flavor: cookies and cream
+ Fruit: strawberries
+ Candy: sweet tarts
+ Car: 04 Toyota Rav4
+ Class: Multi-Cultural Relations
+ Holiday: Thanksgiving
+ Day of the Week: Friday
+ Color: Texas Orange
+ Name for a Girl: Nicole
+ Name for a Boy: Glenn
+ Favorite spot for a date: the Malt Shoppe
+ Quote: "Everything happens for a reason." and "Every day is a holiday, every meal is a feast."
SECTiON 9 DO YO….
+ Like to give kisses?: yep
+ Like to walk in the rain?: only a summer rain
+ Prefer black or blue pens?: black
+ Like to travel?: yeah
+ Like someone?: I believe this might start to get redundant
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side
+ Think you’re attractive? sure
+ Have a goldfish?: nope
+ Ever have the falling dream?: too many times- does anyone know what it means?
+ Have stuffed animals?: yep, 2
SECTiON 10 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT…
+ Abortion: get rid of late-term abortions and I am fine with it.
+ Bill Clinton: Draft-dodging, military-secret-selling piece of shit
+ Smoking: cigars.....oh I love the smell of a cigar
+ Eating Disorders: eh...I'll save my two cents
+ Suicide: selfish, selfish, selfish....euthenasia is another matter, but suicide is for selfish muther-fucks, who only care about themselves
+ Summer: LOVE IT
+ Tattoos: I can't wait to get mine- let's go Cubbies!
+ Piercing: I like it, but my time has run out to get any more I believe
+ Make-up: it's fine for the gals, as long as they go easy on it
SECTiON 11 THIS OR THAT…
+ Pierced nose or tongue?: tongue...pierced noses are sick
+ Single or taken?: taken
+ MTV or BET?: BET...MTV sucks. That being said, I'm neither black, nor does BET keep me entertained
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson’s Creek?: 7th Heaven, some morals aren't a bad thing
+ Sugar or salt?: salt
+ Silver or gold?: silver
+ Chocolate or flowers?: flowers
+ Color or Black-and-white photos?: color, I don't want my kids asking me if everything was in black and white, like I did to my mom.
+ M&M’s or Skittles?: skittles
+ Stay up late or sleep in?: both please
+ Hot or cold?: hot
+ Sun or moon?: moon
+ Left or Right?: right
+ Acquaintances or one best friend?: best friend
+ Mustard or ketchup?: mustard
+ Spring or Fall?: fall
+ Give or receive? give
+ Happy or sad?: happy
+ Wonder or amazement?: amazement
+ McDonald’s or Burger King?: Burger King....I might as well start buying stock in them, since I've put at least 4 of thier kids through college and grad school.
+ Mexican or Italian food?: italian
+ Lights on or off?: on
+ Candy or soda?: soda
+ Pepsi or Coke?: coke
Hope y'all enjoyed that...now it's time to try to sleep once again.
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